Monday, August 25, 2008

I'm In Love w/ 2 people...Is this Possible?

Okay, not quite. Actually the question was brought to my attention.


Can you be in love with more than one person at the same time? Can you love more than one person at the same time?...Mmmm. Well my first thought and answer is no. That's to the first question. Yes you can. That's to the second question. Might seem a bit selfish but let's dig deeper.Let’s play devil’s advocate. If we look at the definition of “Love” it’s a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, thus being “in love” or having "love" for someone would mean having a deep affection and passion for that person.

So my question is..."where does it say you can only feel this way with one person?"

Technically it doesn’t. I think everyone has different characteristics that make us who we are. This is why you might find yourself interested in more than one person at a time. People are constantly growing and changing because of their experiences. As you change you would hope to figure out what you like/love. You may be in a situation with someone and feel a strong connection, beyond words, you might call this love, but by chance you could just as easily develop a similar if not stronger vibe with someone else. What would you call that? Ha confusion? LOL..

Well, should we allow ourselves to be in love or love more than one person at a time? Remember the bible says the heart is deceitful. Should you even allow your feelings to develop for more than one person on that level at the same time? What is your definition of love? Seems like it varies by person.

A friend said, if you love more than one person, then you actually don’t love either one. I beg to differ. I can love more than one person for different reasons. Everyone is not the same. HOWEVER, I do not think you can be "in-love", to the level of wanting to be with a person for the rest of your life, with more than one person. Being "in-love" is intense. It's a deeper love and attraction for someone. When you are "in-love" nothing else matters. There is no second guessing. It is a type of attachment and a oneness with an individual. But love in general can span across all boundaries..then again I think it’s all subjective.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is a great insight on how to view what we call love. I'm currently in a situation with this myself. I have an amazing girlfriend, but there is also this woman that is everything that I ever wanted in a woman. So this is a great note.

Anonymous said...

To be in love with two different beings isn't possible. Let's get away from humans for a second. I myself LOVE sports as a whole (as I do women). Everything from the competition to the intensity draws me to sports but I'm only in LOVE with FOOTBALL. Why? B/c I'm emotionally connected to it. You have to be able to take the good with the bad in something (or someone) when you're in love. To say you love two different people b/c they're both good is like saying you like McDonald's & Wendy's. Of course there are things about both that you are drawn to but at the end of the day there's only one you're willing to invest time, energy, money as well as your well being. So as they say in Football goes "If you have two QBs you don't have one."

Loveleelady said...

I definetly have heard that you can be in love with two ppl @ one time. Hell I have been in that situation. I was in a relationship and still had feelings for someone else (danger situation!) However who is to say that the person isnt just confused?? At the same time, I think its more or less men that have those feelings of loving more than one person at the same time. I've had an ex tell me that he wishes that he could combine every women that he has ever dated to make his perfect women (how selfish you might think!) This same individual also told me that we should try our relationship again and 4 months later got engaged! So do we call it confused or "in love" with two ppl?????

Anonymous said...

This makes me think of a situation from the Bible. Jacob married Leah first. She was a good woman, had most of his children, and did everything right. Jacob loved Leah, but wasn't "in love" with her. He was head over hills with her sister Rachel.

I think God created us to desire a mate, and His word say's for ONE person. I think we are living a confused life when we give our hearts to more than one. Although we have the capacity to love as many as possible, we cannot (or should not) be "in love" with more than one person at a time.

~DR$

Don said...

Hmmm. I tend to think like this - if a person loves two people @ the same time then they really only love one person, themselves.

I agree, it's not or should n't be possible for a person to be 'in love' with more than one person. I think back to the three or four times where I've been in love and it really seemed like nothing else mattered, except babygirl.

Another good post.