“Salty Saga”…what is this? Well this is a mini-series that will have several parts. Part 1, I will try to tackle the “salt like friend”...as it pertains to relationships.
Has this happened to you?
~~Random Conversation ~~
Me: Hey girl, I went to Lenox (mall in ATL) and guess who I ran into, our old college boy, Joe Jones
Salt: Word? Don’t he got a girlfriend?
Me: Well, I don’t know. I just hadn’t seen him in a while.
Salt: Well, I heard he had a girlfriend and has been with her forever.
Me: Oh, well that’s nice. I got some shoes. They are fierce. They will look cute with the dress imma where tonight to the party. You still going?
Salt: I don’t know, Jay is throwing that right? He hangs with them Iotas. They are dogs. They will break your heart.
Me: Um…Well, I was actually tryna see Steve. He owe me a drink from that last time we hung out. He’s crazy
Salt: Steve? Don’t he hang with Ronald? I think Ronald is married. He got some babies on the way.
Me: Well….girl this is my other line…Imma hit you later
That’s just one scenario…oh and I have experienced that…LOL.
When I talk about “salt” or “salty”, I’m referring to someone who comes across as bitter, scorned, don’t like it because you got it or don’t like it because everyone else has it. I think everyone has a friend or knows someone who has experienced the salty friend. What’s interesting is you don’t know they are salty until something doesn’t go right in their life.
Does this individual realize they are coming across so negatively? It seems like IF they even think you met someone or are the slight bit interested, they throw their salt. They got to let you know how they think and how that’s not a good look. Now every man is a dog, every guy that looks at you or her has an agenda. Don’t tell them about a wonderful night you had or a gift you received. You will be shut down by their need to let you know, it’s not all that. “I’d be careful” “Why he do that, how long ya’ll been together?” “Joe did that for me, he ain’t sh!t.” Okay that last one might be a bit extreme, but it has happened. The most popular is a friend who likes to bring up someone from your past that you clearly don’t talk about and ask questions, they already know the answer to.
The funniest situation a friend shared with me was the reaction she kept receiving when she didn’t answer the phone. Let’s just say she went to the restroom and missed the call. The salty sidekick, said “Oh you must have been with Daniel.” (an ex of yours…pure sarcasm…)… “When’s the last time you talked to him.” I about died when I heard that, especially since the girl knew what happened with that situation and it wasn’t good to say the least. Why do they do these things…our so called friends?
Who wants to be negative? Who wakes up and says, “Hey, since I feel like crap, I’m going to make you feel that way.” I think that individuals become bitter when they have been hurt very badly. I’m talking about, “I loved him and he slept with my sister” hurt. Instead of ironing out the situation, they have lost hope on anything that is good. Many times, the smallest thing will remind them of that fool who crushed their heart, and everyone, including their friends will feel the blunt end of it all. Do they still have feelings for this person? Do they even want to let go? Most of the times, your friend is seeking attention. She needs an ear. I must admit, I have looked the other way and sometimes haven’t invited folks out because I didn’t want to hear that all men were scum of the earth. I mean I’m just trying to get groceries and I must here that the cashier looks like your ex, who was a dog. If you feel you don’t get invited out much anymore, it might be that negative aura you carry.
As friends, we should support, listen, encourage etc. If you have a situation where you have a negative friend or perhaps you are the negative friend, do these 3 things. STOP, ASK, and LISTEN!!!..... Stop changing the subject and blowing off these comments. Stop being so dang negative. Ask your friend and yourself, what is wrong? How can this be fixed. Listen to your friend and listen to yourself, you are caring too much on your heart and mind. Let it go. Release.
Disclaimer: If your name is close to the names listed, you know someone by those names or you are an Iota, this is not directed toward you or them. I had to think of some names to use instead of the real ones.
2 comments:
I think if you have a salty friend you should let them know how you feel. Sometimes when you are hurt and you take on a negative view on life you are looking at things from a different perspective. The salt is affecting thier vision, lol
If you are truly friends then let them know how they act affects you and brings you down. Help them to see that everything isn't that bad and if they can't understand that then I say walk away because you will just grow to resent them or you may start to see things the way they do.
You know me, I say pray that this friend seeks God and allows him to heal her/his heart and forgives everyone that has done them wrong. Pray that the salty friend will begin to walk in love and keeps the joy of the Lord in thier life.
I would have to agree with what chioma said. Typically those that have been hurt do take negative views on life and offer advise from their perspective, however does that make it right for them to always rain on your parade? I think the salty friends that are in fact throwing the salt 9 times out of 10 know what they are doing. Many of these individuals are miserable and very unhappy and therefore they dont want to see you happy or they are in a rocky relationship and they see that yours is going well so they throw salt at cha. And this all leads me to ask the question are these salty people truley our friends?? Dr. E holla @ me!!
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