“I got a big EGO…mmmm Not so much!”

“I walk like this cuz I can back it up…” I’m sure we’ve heard this snippet from “Ego.” It’s a creative song but some folks are getting carried away. Mmmmm, Really?!?! There are men out here that feel like they are breaking down walls and backs. Have you ever been with someone who was claiming “victory” and you haven’t even started the race? I thought this was a team event. Just because your “zodiac characteristics” state “awesome lover,” don’t mean you do not put in work to retain that label. Some men have the package but do not know what to do with it…Good Partner… Bad Sex.

I’ve had conversations with men and women that have said, “Sex is just as important as love.” (I will leave that for my next blog) Masterbating can only take you so far. Even then, masterbating can create more problems. If a man masterbastes too much, he won’t be able to get it up or keep it up during times of intimacy unless he does something else to compensate for it. If a man masterbastes, he must know how to stay rock solid during the process. When I think of my partner, I want to feel a chill down my back. I want my mouth to water and I want those butterflies in my stomach because I mentally and physically know what’s about to go DOWN!
As we get older, we get to a point in our lives where we look for more than sex, we may come across a dilemma when he/she has it all, but lack in the sack. What do you do when you are very much in love with someone and they just don’t do it right for you in the bedroom? I’m no pro in the bedroom and I don’t claim to be, but there are a few things that I’m an expert in. I know my competence, but I’m willing to learn. Communicate what you like. Guide your partner and not like they are a little kid. Tell them where you like it. Tell them where you don’t (not during the process). NOT telling them is only hurting you and them. Patience is the key. If you do not communicate the following may happen:

1). They think you are pleased, so they continue to do what they were doing, most times more often and harder (go figure)

2). You become uninterested. When sex comes up, you are “tired” or are snoring before the sun goes down

3). You get angry. You feel like you are wasting your time and eventually you will “check out” of the situation.

These are only a few things. In the past, I’ve had “talks” with my partners. This is when I physically show, with my clothes on, what I like. I take my partner’s hand and show him what works and I describe how that makes me feel and vice versa. You should never assume that your techniques will work on every person. You shouldn’t assume your extensive track record or lack thereof makes you an expert. HELLO!!! Would you risk giving up on a good relationship because the sex is not the best? I did not talk to a guy because the sex was bad, but then again, I did not want to be with him…so it was more to it than that, but I digress. So what do you do? We are in the age of STD Central and let’s face it, most are not getting tested. Is it easy to cheat to get a quick fix or is it best to stick it out and help your partner perform what’s best for YOU?